Making New Habits, cont'd

Okay, so my new plan is every day: 10 minutes per room on the main floor, 10 minutes of paperwork, 5 minutes per room upstairs, 1 load of laundry, read 1 chapter, and exercise 20 minutes 3 times a week.

I post this daily just to hold myself accountable. 
-The paperwork is pretty much done.
-The dining room has been spotless for days!  Which means I get to spend an extra 10 minutes on the kitchen.  I am glad b/c since I cook just about every meal from scratch every day, that is the one room that needs more than 10 minutes.
-The dishes are done.
-The bathrooms are clean.
-Living room is picked up.
-Read 1 chapter
-Our bed is even made, and my happiest accomplishment of the week:
-I got a spot out of Alyssa's carpet that has been there since we moved in!  We had tried everything; I finally resorted to dish soap, and that worked.
-Now, off to exercise for 20 minutes!
-What am I going to do with the rest of my day!

Week two: Making New Habits

-chores done; very close to having all of the paperwork caught up.
-devotions done.
-going to walk with Ryan and Andrew to Alyssa's track and field day.
-I still love this protocol!  It is the first time this has ever worked for me!  The house is clean; laundry is caught up, getting my exercise and reading time in.  Paper is not overtaking the house; in fact, one more day, and it will likely be done!  The kids' rooms are picked up and even vacuumed!
-Didn't get any extra projects done this weekend, but I did spend a significant amount of time going through coupons and getting the freebies at Target, CVS, and Walgreens.

Making New Habits

Okay, just holding myself accountable here.

Today, I exercised for 20 minutes, that makes the 3rd time this week.  I got all the chores done, including the dreaded paperwork, did my devotions, went through the coupons.  Now off to Rainbow and Target to get my freebies!

Making New Habits

I must have forgotten to blog a couple days.

Well, I have started a new housecleaning plan, and it is going extremely well.  I hate cleaning and organizing; it's not that I don't know how; it's that I'm not motivated.  So, I started a new plan.

I have cheated a tad, getting on the computer before I finish my list, but I am at least successfully finishing my list every day..  In short, I spend 10 minutes per room on the main floor, 10 minutes on paperwork, and 5 minutes per room on the upstairs floor.  I don't want details about hotspots or a mile long to-do list.  Limiting my time per room has worked wonders!  The time limit is my only rule.

I am finding that I am finally getting on top of paperwork; that is a miracle in and of itself.  Alyssa's room is no longer a death trap.  The laundry is caught up.  The dining room is spotless, including washing the inside windows.  My upstairs bathrooms are now presentable, yay!

My kitchen is not quite as clean, but it is good enough.  I had to limit my time to motivate myself, and that is all it took, sort of a reverse psychology, it you will.  I am motivated to get it all done in the morning, which is good, since my ear symptoms are usually worse in the evenings.

I didn't exercise today, but I have once this week for 20 minutes.  I have had my reading/devotional time every day.

Okay, this isn't meant to be a brag blog.  I am blogging to hold myself accountable and to encourage myself.  I am a fairly type B personality, and sometimes it takes some extra push to get me motivated to do the things I am not naturally energized by.  The daily time limit has worked wonders.  It's actually kind of surprising to me that it only takes a little over an hour a day to keep my house fairly clean and organized.  Most days, I can handle an hour or so.

So, today, all of my list is done and then some.  I might even start a project, we'll see.

Day 7 Making New Habits

Okay, I am consistently cheating, getting on the computer before my "new habits" are done.  However, I am finding that having the time limit is all I need to motivate myself.  The main floor is consistently clean; the kids' rooms are no longer a death trap, and I see a light at the end of the paperwork tunnel.  (Please, nobody tell me it's an oncoming train!).

Today,
-Devotions-done
-Main floor-done
-On to exercise, paperwork, and the upper level.

Day 6 Making New Habits

Okay, the dog woke me up before 6 a.m. this morning.  So, I got up and started my day.

Devotions done.
Time allotted to main floor done.
DD's room done
1 load of laundry done.
Still need to do paperwork, DS's room, the 2 upstairs bathrooms, and master bedroom.
Might even exercise later this morning.

I know I have broken my rule of not getting on the computer until it is all done, but this is still working for me.
Despite how much I hate paperwork, I am seeing significant progress in what is left to go through, and DD's room is manageable again!  The best part is that since I am putting time limits on rooms, I am not overwhelmed by the process.

Ryan is home the next two weeks, so it will be interesting to see how well I stick with my cleaning agenda; I am always more interested in spending time with him when he is home, but we need to stay focused:   he needs to find a job, and I want to get more organized.

Day 5

-Main floor chores done.  Even got the tape off the windows.
-10 minutes of paperwork-done.  Loving this part!  This normally overwhelms me so much that I just avoid it altogether.  Putting a 10 minute limit on it gives me the courage to tackle it.  The stack is definitely going down.  Yay!
 -Everyone else is still sleeping, so have to wait to do the upstairs chores.

Day 4 of making new habits

Chores are done.
Paperwork done.
Devotions-done.
Grocery shopping done.
Should probably still exercise and focus on 1 project.
I can't believe how spotless my dining room is!  Yay!

What's really crazy is that I'm only committing to an hour and twenty minutes a day, and my house is becoming very clean and organized!  Much better than spending an entire Saturday catching up on cleaning!

Day 2 and 3 of making new habits

Yesterday-got all of it done except the paperwork.  I did cheat and get online before one of the chores was done.

Today-okay-cheating again-I've only finished about 2/3 of the work, but
-the main floor chores are done
-did extra paperwork to make up for missing it yesterday
-this feels good.

Habits are Hard To Make

I told my husband once that I thought I was undisciplined to which he responded, "you're not undisciplined; you get a lot done; you just don't like to be on a schedule".

I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle.  In all honesty, I think I am probably quite disciplined in doing the things I enjoy doing and somewhat disciplined in doing the things that need to be done that I don't enjoy but don't hate doing.  Then there are the chores that I really don't enjoy doing; I have to confess, I am less disciplined with those.

I hate housework!  All the organizational websites don't work for me either.  It's not that I don't know how to organize; it's that I don't like to organize.  So, I am conceiving a very simple plan.

I am trying a new tactic.  It is one that worked on our son when he was two: good old reverse psychology.  My new agenda:  If I am not sick, I will work ten minutes and ten minutes only on each room of the main floor (bathroom only gets 5 minutes) and five minutes on each room upstairs and five minutes on the laundry room.  I will also commit to 10 minutes of paperwork a day, but not more than that.  The kids can be responsible for cleaning the basement.  I am not allowed to go beyond those allotted times.  Those are the chores I do not like to do.  So, I will still cook a big meal every other day, do one load of laundry a day, have my time with God, time with Ryan, play with the kids, grocery shop, etc.  Those things are easier to motivate myself to do.  My other commitment is to work on one project on the weekend; that usually entails finishing the laundry.  I am guessing the temptation will be to go beyond those allotted times once I get started, and I can already think of extra projects that need doing.  That's okay, if that's what it takes to motivate myself, I will try it. However, my rule is I cannot go over the allotted times until every room and paperwork has had their allotted time.

Okay, I am also going to ask a couple friends to hold me accountable to this new plan.

Ooh forgot one:  I hate exercise!   So, I am adding the goal of 30 minutes of cardiovascular exercise three times a week; I am not allowed to go beyond that, hehe.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Feeling shunned or ministering to the wrong people

We all have difficult people in our lives:  some who think it's their job to tell us how to live life, some who compete and condescend in order to feel better about themselves, some who completely ignore us when we reach out to them.  You can't help but feel shunned by such incidents.

Many Christians think it is their duty to continue to go out of their way to be nice to people who are cruel/ to take their negative attitudes.  I am starting to develop a different view.  There is a Christianese word for relationships that are one-sided:  ministry.  My rhetorical question is: does God call us to minister to everyone who is unkind to us?  I don't think so.  I think it's important that we come before God and ask Him who we are supposed to  minister to and who we are supposed to set boundaries with.  It is also important that we discern who is seeking the spiritual gifts we have to offer.  Jesus said, "don't throw your pearls to swine".

I've reached the age where I don't want to waste my time on relationships that drag me down.  I want to spend my energy encouraging others and giving joy. 

False Guilt

I think that moms in our culture wrestle with constant false guilt.  Working moms feel guilty for not spending more time with their kids.  Stay-at-home moms feel guilty for not contributing to the family finances and for days where they think they should be more productive at home.

My husband always reminds me that guilt that is truly from God motivates us to do something positive.  Guilt that is false guilt just makes us feel badly and does not motivate us.

I wrestle with my own guilt about not getting more done around the house.  I recently had a huge revelation, thanks to a friend of mine.  She said so succinctly what is true for me, and I just had not been able to articulate.  She said that her top two roles are taking care of her health so that she can give to her family and keeping her family's schedule calm.  My whole life was changed by that statement.  Why?  Because, when I stop and think about it, those are my top two priorities in being a stay-at-home mom.  In fact, it's why I am home.

Now, I am not saying other women should share my and my friend's value.  I've known women who were very successful at working outside of their home and creating a peaceful family atmosphere, and of course, there are moms who have to work outside of the home.  That is not the point.  The point is to live consistently with who you are created to be/ with the values God has put in your heart.

I had been judging myself by my mother's priorities:  "You're a good housewife if you keep the house clean".

What I realized when I was able to articulate what is really important to me (my health and a calm family schedule), is that I am successful at what is important to me.  I need to shed the values that are not truly mine:  others' values of keeping the house super clean.  Now, I am not saying that I have the right roles for someone else.  It is okay to spend time keeping your house extremely organized if that is what gives you peace.  There are some women who would be bored out of their mind keeping their schedule uneventful.  You don't have to be me.  The point is to spend some time figuring out what you genuinely need, not what you think you "should" prioritize, but the needs you genuinely have.  Then give yourself the freedom to focus on those, not on what you think you should be doing.

Life is much easier when we live how we were created to be.  This Easter, as we ponder what Jesus gave so that we might have abundant life, let's shed false guilt and focus on who He created us to be.

Positive Energy

I know that the phrases "positive energy" and "negative energy" have been deemed New Age or even pagan.  Well, as a Christian, I am taking back these terms for Christianity.  The Bible talks about renewing our minds.  I think that in the chaos of life, we can sometimes focus on all the pressure, stress, difficult relationships, etc.  This zaps us of physical, emotional, and spiritual energy.  Why not spend the majority of our time focusing on the positive things in life and thereby creating positive spiritual, physical, and emotional energy.  This is not only good for our bodies and spirits, it also enables us to have more joy to give.

So, I am re-framing or at least re-focusing.

I can choose to focus on the person who said negative things about me this week, or I can choose to focus on the person who this morning helped me remove the trap of false guilt from my day.

I can focus on the time I am not getting with my husband, or I can focus on the fact that he is so giving that he sacrificed sleep to take our child to speech therapy because he knew my health wasn't quite up to par today, even though he has to work 16 hours tonight.

I can see my day-to-day life as boring, or I can remember that I choose calm over go-go-go.  I can remember that I am choosing health over chaos and then plan some fun in my day b/c there is now time for fun.

I can be frustrated that my in-laws are so far away, or I can be thankful they raised such a wonderful son.

I can be hurt and upset by someone who has unfairly judged me, or I can remember how much grace I have been given.

I can wish we had more children, or I can go to the church nursery and love on the babies there.

I can be discouraged that it is snowing again in Minnesota, or I can be thankful for the extra income (my husband took a 2nd job doing snow removal), and I can be thankful that it is the time of year where Jesus conquered death.

I  hope that I create the positive energy in other people's lives that I have been so blessed with by others this week.

Happy Easter, everyone.

Stuck in a body

I think it was C.S. Lewis who said, you are not a body with a spirit, your are a spirit that has a body.  If you are young, that may not have quite as much meaning to you as it does for those of us us who are older and looking forward to a new body.

For those living with long term, chronic illness, it can feel like you are "stuck" in that body.  If you are not completely debilitated, you may have a lot of spiritual passion but not have the physical ability to use it.  You may have hopes and dreams or even just great intentions but not have the physical ability to make them happen.

For others it may be having a high IQ that makes you feel stuck.  If you have some health issues but have a mind that craves learning and analyzing, but your body will not let you do much with it for a time, that can be extremely stressful and boring.  It is hard to live life like that!  Perhaps, your mind wants to create, your body is capable, but you are lacking for the outlets.  Such things can make us feel stuck.

I am reminded at times of two things.  First, I think that we are intentionally given a "form", an ideal of what heaven will be like some day.  That is, I think that our spirits know what we need and want, and some day those needs and want will be fulfilled continually.  During this life, they may be met for a time, and other times, there may be a sense of void.  It can lead to boredom and discouragement, but we must remember that the thing we are seeking is beautiful because it is a symbol of the perfection of heaven, that we will some day taste.

Secondly, I know this is quite an old adage, but we must discern the things in life over which we do have control and those thing that we do not.  Then we can take responsibility for those things over which we do have control.  The others we can lay at the feet of Jesus.  He will either meet them now or give us the strength to set them aside until the day where He will make all things right again.

Intercession or just age?

I have hit that age where I awake in the middle of the night and sometimes can't go back to sleep.  I know that it is common for women to wrestle with sleep at this age.  I have also learned from a dear aunt of mine that such time is a great time to pray for others in my life.  It rarely enables me to go back to sleep, but at least I can do something useful with my time, instead of wondering if and when I will be able to fall back asleep.

Sometimes I wonder if God wakes us up because He wants us to pray for someone.  There are those times when friends or family are going through something fierce and need that extra support.

I know the following is pretty non-Western for most Christians to swallow.  Then again, I was never one to just stay inside of the box that those around me create.  I'm not one to rock the boat, but my philosophical creativity does not like to be restrained.  Just as I believe there is power in prayer, I also believe there is power in the negative feelings and negative energy we have towards people.  We, as Christians, do not realize that we have the power to damage others with our curse-filled attitudes.  I know that sounds so new-Age, negative energy and all.  If you want to put it into more "Christianese", look at it this way.  If we speak our negative thoughts about someone, Satan can hear that.  He can also attempt to put negative thoughts about others into our minds.  It does not take a rocket scientist to then look at our non verbals and figure out how successful he is in affecting our attitude.  He is then capable of finding that person we have harbored a negative attitude about, and I believe he then tries to wreak havoc with their thoughts.  I believe the demonic spirit world can use our negative energy to wound others, just as Jesus, or His angels can use our prayers to encourage others.

I want my thoughts, my words, my actions, and my attitude to bless others, not harm them.  Not everyone in my life will be open to that.  The least I can do though is make sure I am not creating negative/ curse-filled energy in their life.  The best I can do is bless others by praying for them.

Jesus, help me to be a blessing in the lives of others, not a curse.