Boundaries

I've been writing a lot lately about pruning, the cutting off from my life those things that are not edifying or productive to whom God has created me to be.

In my twenties I learned a lot about boundaries.  I learned how to discern what was harmful and how to keep it from my life.  I learned the Biblical grounds for self respect and how to communicate assertively.

Now in my forties, I've come to a new conclusion:  I don't want to spend my energy discerning what is harmful and having to weed it out from my life.  I want to spend my energy discerning what is good and only allowing the good in.  It's a much more positive approach and I think would require much less energy.  Conserving energy is a good thing at this age. 

Yes, good things require growing pains at times, but is the process producing positive energy, is it growing our spirits or killing them?

How would our lives be different if we only allowed the good things to have power in our lives, if those were the only things in our lives granted permission to come and to stay.    Then it has earned a place at my table.  I think our world would have so much powerful, good energy, we would see radical change!

Jesus kept the negative energy out of His life, but I think it's maybe because He was so focused on letting the positive in.  That's how I want the second half of my life to be.  Instead of taking the energy to focus on what is bad and weed it out or not allow it in, let's use our energy to focus on what is good and welcome it.  It is much more positive to have to dwell on what is good than to have to focus on what is negative, and I think it takes less energy from us to focus on the good and grant it a dwelling place in our souls than to focus on what is bad and weed it out.

Pruning, pruning, and more pruning

I think I shared previously about a vision that someone had as they were praying over me for healing of my disease.  It was a vision of a paper cutter, God getting rid of the things in my life that weigh me down.

It has been so profound!  I since have seen so many things from my life start to fall away, things just aren't uplifting or don't contribute to who I am in Christ.  I think that God is always pruning away the deadness in our lives, but this has been a year of intense change for me, and I like what He is doing.

The beauty in all of it is that as those things are dropped, I see inside of me how strong I truly am, not because I am some amazing person, but because God has given me the courage to continue to move towards who He has created me to be, to let go of the things that are not truly me, to let go of the things that weigh down my branches or let go of the branches that are not helping my tree produce.

I find through this process a deeper commitment to maintain my identity in Christ, not from what others think, not from having approval.  I find through this process the courage to say, you can either join me or not, but I am moving forward.  I find in this process a stronger commitment to boundaries.  I find in this process the courage to set new goals.  I find in this process a deeper desire for God's holiness, not because I want to see myself as a good person, but because the unholy areas of my life are not helpful, in fact they add pain and keep me from the fullest extent of joy that I could be experiencing.  I find in this process an intense admiration for my dear husband.  I find in this process a deeper desire to  nurture my children.  I find in this process an odd but welcomed sense of peace.

I may lose a lot in this process.  I'm sure there will be those who fight against either the process in my life or the effects that that growth has.  I hope I can maintain the attitude that what I am gaining is of great value and worth shedding the things that do not benefit my soul.

I like being 40.  It is very freeing, and I look forward to what God wants to continue to do in my life, and I hope that as He continues to prune away the dead branches from my life, that my tree produces more oxygen for me, for my family, for my friends, for my community, for my church.

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