What I wish I had Known in my Twenties

I have always valued logic, and my health has taught me to ignore stress and to hyperfocus on the here and now.  It has also taken more away from me than words could tell.  So, I keep fighting to accomplish the goals God has put in my spirit, because if I stop, then my health issues win, I lose, and Jesus gets no credit.  Some days I want to not care, to stay in my comfort zone, but when we don't do what God has created for us to do, we get bored.  We are a spirit, not just a body.

I am learning, not to take life back as I thought I was doing, but to push forward in His strength as I lay the obstacles at His feet.  I am learning that He is in control, that He cares, and that I can trust Him.   I can trust Him with the goals he has put in my heart.  I can trust Him with my health.  Of all people, I know that that does not mean life will always be good.  It does mean that it is filled.

Many women I know took until middle age to realize they were capable of doing what God had created for them to do.  I knew from the time I was small that I could do what I set my mind to doing.  Now, what I know is that despite how terrifying the journey, despite my body giving up on me, I can do what God has created me to do because He does not fail.

After years of living one moment at a time, pushing through the health issues, and ignoring stress, I am once again moving forward out of that comfort zone, but this time I go without my strength (my strength is gone.).  I go in God's strength.  He will have to deal with the hurtles because I don't have it in me.  Why did it take losing my health to realize that God's strength is better than mine anyways? When it is in His strength, I don't have to fear failure or rejection.  He will handle it.  When it is in my strength, I might get there, but there is a lot more fear. 

Alfred Adler said, "It takes courage to be imperfect."  Maybe a step beyond that is that it takes courage to trust God with our imperfections.  Some of us have more hurtles than others.  Some of us have different hurtles than others.  I wish I had known at 20 that I did not need to rely on myself to do what God had created for me to do.  I wish I had known that I did not need to fear failure or rejection because if I followed His path up the mountain, I would get there in His timing; I don't have to fear the boulders in the way.

It takes courage to move forward.  It takes courage to get out of our comfort zone.  It takes courage to accept our imperfections.  It takes courage to accept others' imperfections.  For some people it takes courage to live with chronic health issues and accept the losses that have transpired.  For others, it takes courage to follow your God-given dreams despite the chronic health issues.  Everything inside of me wants to not care, to stay in the moment, at times to quit climbing.  Everything inside of me screams, "What if I don't get there?"  Everything inside of me screams, "Why can't the pathway just be easy!"  I want to not care.  I want life to stay comfortable.  However, God calls each of us out of our comfort zone, not in our own strength but in His.

What causes you to want to stay in your comfort zone?  What boulders do you see?  What is God teaching you as you follow His pathway?

Making New Habits, cont'd

Okay, so my new plan is every day: 10 minutes per room on the main floor, 10 minutes of paperwork, 5 minutes per room upstairs, 1 load of laundry, read 1 chapter, and exercise 20 minutes 3 times a week.

I post this daily just to hold myself accountable. 
-The paperwork is pretty much done.
-The dining room has been spotless for days!  Which means I get to spend an extra 10 minutes on the kitchen.  I am glad b/c since I cook just about every meal from scratch every day, that is the one room that needs more than 10 minutes.
-The dishes are done.
-The bathrooms are clean.
-Living room is picked up.
-Read 1 chapter
-Our bed is even made, and my happiest accomplishment of the week:
-I got a spot out of Alyssa's carpet that has been there since we moved in!  We had tried everything; I finally resorted to dish soap, and that worked.
-Now, off to exercise for 20 minutes!
-What am I going to do with the rest of my day!

Week two: Making New Habits

-chores done; very close to having all of the paperwork caught up.
-devotions done.
-going to walk with Ryan and Andrew to Alyssa's track and field day.
-I still love this protocol!  It is the first time this has ever worked for me!  The house is clean; laundry is caught up, getting my exercise and reading time in.  Paper is not overtaking the house; in fact, one more day, and it will likely be done!  The kids' rooms are picked up and even vacuumed!
-Didn't get any extra projects done this weekend, but I did spend a significant amount of time going through coupons and getting the freebies at Target, CVS, and Walgreens.

Making New Habits

Okay, just holding myself accountable here.

Today, I exercised for 20 minutes, that makes the 3rd time this week.  I got all the chores done, including the dreaded paperwork, did my devotions, went through the coupons.  Now off to Rainbow and Target to get my freebies!

Making New Habits

I must have forgotten to blog a couple days.

Well, I have started a new housecleaning plan, and it is going extremely well.  I hate cleaning and organizing; it's not that I don't know how; it's that I'm not motivated.  So, I started a new plan.

I have cheated a tad, getting on the computer before I finish my list, but I am at least successfully finishing my list every day..  In short, I spend 10 minutes per room on the main floor, 10 minutes on paperwork, and 5 minutes per room on the upstairs floor.  I don't want details about hotspots or a mile long to-do list.  Limiting my time per room has worked wonders!  The time limit is my only rule.

I am finding that I am finally getting on top of paperwork; that is a miracle in and of itself.  Alyssa's room is no longer a death trap.  The laundry is caught up.  The dining room is spotless, including washing the inside windows.  My upstairs bathrooms are now presentable, yay!

My kitchen is not quite as clean, but it is good enough.  I had to limit my time to motivate myself, and that is all it took, sort of a reverse psychology, it you will.  I am motivated to get it all done in the morning, which is good, since my ear symptoms are usually worse in the evenings.

I didn't exercise today, but I have once this week for 20 minutes.  I have had my reading/devotional time every day.

Okay, this isn't meant to be a brag blog.  I am blogging to hold myself accountable and to encourage myself.  I am a fairly type B personality, and sometimes it takes some extra push to get me motivated to do the things I am not naturally energized by.  The daily time limit has worked wonders.  It's actually kind of surprising to me that it only takes a little over an hour a day to keep my house fairly clean and organized.  Most days, I can handle an hour or so.

So, today, all of my list is done and then some.  I might even start a project, we'll see.

Day 7 Making New Habits

Okay, I am consistently cheating, getting on the computer before my "new habits" are done.  However, I am finding that having the time limit is all I need to motivate myself.  The main floor is consistently clean; the kids' rooms are no longer a death trap, and I see a light at the end of the paperwork tunnel.  (Please, nobody tell me it's an oncoming train!).

Today,
-Devotions-done
-Main floor-done
-On to exercise, paperwork, and the upper level.

Day 6 Making New Habits

Okay, the dog woke me up before 6 a.m. this morning.  So, I got up and started my day.

Devotions done.
Time allotted to main floor done.
DD's room done
1 load of laundry done.
Still need to do paperwork, DS's room, the 2 upstairs bathrooms, and master bedroom.
Might even exercise later this morning.

I know I have broken my rule of not getting on the computer until it is all done, but this is still working for me.
Despite how much I hate paperwork, I am seeing significant progress in what is left to go through, and DD's room is manageable again!  The best part is that since I am putting time limits on rooms, I am not overwhelmed by the process.

Ryan is home the next two weeks, so it will be interesting to see how well I stick with my cleaning agenda; I am always more interested in spending time with him when he is home, but we need to stay focused:   he needs to find a job, and I want to get more organized.