What I wish I had Known in my Twenties

I have always valued logic, and my health has taught me to ignore stress and to hyperfocus on the here and now.  It has also taken more away from me than words could tell.  So, I keep fighting to accomplish the goals God has put in my spirit, because if I stop, then my health issues win, I lose, and Jesus gets no credit.  Some days I want to not care, to stay in my comfort zone, but when we don't do what God has created for us to do, we get bored.  We are a spirit, not just a body.

I am learning, not to take life back as I thought I was doing, but to push forward in His strength as I lay the obstacles at His feet.  I am learning that He is in control, that He cares, and that I can trust Him.   I can trust Him with the goals he has put in my heart.  I can trust Him with my health.  Of all people, I know that that does not mean life will always be good.  It does mean that it is filled.

Many women I know took until middle age to realize they were capable of doing what God had created for them to do.  I knew from the time I was small that I could do what I set my mind to doing.  Now, what I know is that despite how terrifying the journey, despite my body giving up on me, I can do what God has created me to do because He does not fail.

After years of living one moment at a time, pushing through the health issues, and ignoring stress, I am once again moving forward out of that comfort zone, but this time I go without my strength (my strength is gone.).  I go in God's strength.  He will have to deal with the hurtles because I don't have it in me.  Why did it take losing my health to realize that God's strength is better than mine anyways? When it is in His strength, I don't have to fear failure or rejection.  He will handle it.  When it is in my strength, I might get there, but there is a lot more fear. 

Alfred Adler said, "It takes courage to be imperfect."  Maybe a step beyond that is that it takes courage to trust God with our imperfections.  Some of us have more hurtles than others.  Some of us have different hurtles than others.  I wish I had known at 20 that I did not need to rely on myself to do what God had created for me to do.  I wish I had known that I did not need to fear failure or rejection because if I followed His path up the mountain, I would get there in His timing; I don't have to fear the boulders in the way.

It takes courage to move forward.  It takes courage to get out of our comfort zone.  It takes courage to accept our imperfections.  It takes courage to accept others' imperfections.  For some people it takes courage to live with chronic health issues and accept the losses that have transpired.  For others, it takes courage to follow your God-given dreams despite the chronic health issues.  Everything inside of me wants to not care, to stay in the moment, at times to quit climbing.  Everything inside of me screams, "What if I don't get there?"  Everything inside of me screams, "Why can't the pathway just be easy!"  I want to not care.  I want life to stay comfortable.  However, God calls each of us out of our comfort zone, not in our own strength but in His.

What causes you to want to stay in your comfort zone?  What boulders do you see?  What is God teaching you as you follow His pathway?