Pruning, pruning, and more pruning

I think I shared previously about a vision that someone had as they were praying over me for healing of my disease.  It was a vision of a paper cutter, God getting rid of the things in my life that weigh me down.

It has been so profound!  I since have seen so many things from my life start to fall away, things just aren't uplifting or don't contribute to who I am in Christ.  I think that God is always pruning away the deadness in our lives, but this has been a year of intense change for me, and I like what He is doing.

The beauty in all of it is that as those things are dropped, I see inside of me how strong I truly am, not because I am some amazing person, but because God has given me the courage to continue to move towards who He has created me to be, to let go of the things that are not truly me, to let go of the things that weigh down my branches or let go of the branches that are not helping my tree produce.

I find through this process a deeper commitment to maintain my identity in Christ, not from what others think, not from having approval.  I find through this process the courage to say, you can either join me or not, but I am moving forward.  I find in this process a stronger commitment to boundaries.  I find in this process the courage to set new goals.  I find in this process a deeper desire for God's holiness, not because I want to see myself as a good person, but because the unholy areas of my life are not helpful, in fact they add pain and keep me from the fullest extent of joy that I could be experiencing.  I find in this process an intense admiration for my dear husband.  I find in this process a deeper desire to  nurture my children.  I find in this process an odd but welcomed sense of peace.

I may lose a lot in this process.  I'm sure there will be those who fight against either the process in my life or the effects that that growth has.  I hope I can maintain the attitude that what I am gaining is of great value and worth shedding the things that do not benefit my soul.

I like being 40.  It is very freeing, and I look forward to what God wants to continue to do in my life, and I hope that as He continues to prune away the dead branches from my life, that my tree produces more oxygen for me, for my family, for my friends, for my community, for my church.

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